Updated: Apr 20
“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”
― Herbert Bayard Swope
As you probably know by now and if you don't go and read my other blog post, I am pretty much a big ass man/kid. Which, I choose to be this way for the exact reason of life is way too short to be impressing others by being something that you're not. Where is it written in the book of life that we can't go and have fun as adults because it makes us unsuccessful?
I know the world much rather I put on the resting jerk face 24/7, yes, I'm told this is the male equivalent to the ever-popular (RBF) that everyone loves saying. Then go around constantly complaining about bills or never having enough money. Plus add to it by constantly watching the news in order to learn the next thing I need to debate or argue with others about. While also buying unnecessary items that I know I don't need, but must have... Why? Because it makes me look successful.
Hello, new annual iPhone upgrade, How are you doing?
Oh yes, I'll take that $120k finance for this new vehicle that will depreciate as soon as I drive it off the lot.
Let me take you out on a date girl to this expensive restaurant. We're both going to be hungry afterward, but hey, the insta post will show our success!
Nah, I'm cool on that homieo Romeo. My picture of a fancy date night is getting stuffed, knocking some drinks back, getting ice cream, then dancing like we are in the soul train line. All while taking shitty pictures on my raggedy iPhone 6 that is somehow still alive (true story).
The theme here at this dinner party if you haven't caught on yet is humans have these fake assumptions about how a person should live in order to make everyone view us as successful. We all try to follow the same route as everyone else in order to fit in and say I made it to success. When really we are only heading down the road of confusion and depression. Losing who we really are and who we want to be!
For instance: As a man...
A successful man goes out and works 12 hours a day, then comes homes to drink a beer, falls asleep watching a tv show (Celtics) on the couch... Only to wake up and do it all over again the next day. There's no time for anything else, but to work, eat, sleep, fart, and shit in that order...
How dare we find a job that we enjoy doing... One that only makes us work 4 to 8 hours out of the day and makes more than enough money to put food on the table. How dare we play the newest video games with our kids and enjoy them. How dare we check our fantasy football lineups 100 times daily in the offseason and 200 during the season in order to best our fellow league mates. HOW DARE WE BE HAPPY!
Flipside: Woman (I think)
I can only speak so much to this side of the table and since I'm a single mess :'( I don't have many to reference. Yet, here we go, from what I gather the perfect successful woman is the one who finds her dream man, that is rich and she makes him extravagant dinners every night. She has complete control of everything going on in the house and when he's not home she only thinks of him and writes poetry about him being away...
Some of my happiest woman friends have been doing nothing like this. Instead, they are out being dominant headhunters in their chosen career field and refuse to mold to a man's wants and needs. They are happy this way. They are not being forced into the stay-at-home wifey job anymore that stigmas try to place them in. Yet, on the flip end, there are plenty of women I know that are striving in this environment.
It boils down to what fits you!
What has life been teaching me recently?
I'll end this blog post here because A.) I am not writing a book just yet and B.) I have to go be a successful male and visit the bathroom...
There is a man (fellow veteran) that I met last year that lives his best life in a mobile van with his 5... or is it 6... German Shepards. That's right, not a high-end RV, with some gorgeous supermodel wife, with a helicopter that flies him to Rome every weekend. Nope, just a simple life of him and his dogs chillin' and enjoying life. He even shares my infatuation of reggae music and the occasional ganja break (more on that in another post down the line). Simply put, this man is a badass and a halve so, of course, I added him on Facebook to follow his journey. Let me tell you, I love following his story on places they go and things they do. He is a veteran of the US Army that's living his best life on his terms with no remorse and no sorrow. Forever smiling and spreading his love everywhere he goes.
Now, most would look at this section and go ewe, that is not success. He should find a home, not his van. He needs to find a real job instead of living life on the road with some dogs (Cruella). How about he go and find a wife? Blah, blah, blah...
Let me ask you this, who is really enjoying their life more, them or him? The person that wakes up every day to dedicate themselves to a job that cares less about their personal happiness? Or the one living free on their own values and standards? The person forcing themselves to put in long hours at a job in order to pay for things that they will only enjoy for a small amount of time? Or the person that works less and enjoys the simple things in life and does not have to always fit into a perception of high class?
The answer... honestly BOTH! Once again success is measured by the individual and how they see fit. So do what makes you happy and get's you ticking.
Personally, I'll take a dope anime shirt, some Nikes, and cool socks any day of the week over always wearing a bow tie and dress suit. Even though on occasions I do like to dapper up on everyone. Feeling smooth like my Nupe compadres.
I say live and let live my family. Go sit down and focus on who you're and what makes you HAPPY! That is where the success lies. Then don't let anyone change your opinion on it. Jesus, Gandhi, or Buddha never had a private jet and they were happy.
PEACE, LOVE, AND PICKLE JUICE!
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